Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close – Jonathan Safran Foer

In Jonathan Safran Foer’s novel Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close Oskar’s grandmother spills out her emotions in the sections titled “MY FEELINGS” in ways that she cannot in her everyday life.  These pieces of her memoir are meant to give Oskar some semblance of understanding as he struggles with the death of his father and his family’s mysterious past.  What Foer accomplishes with these passages is the shaping of perhaps the most important supporting character in his novel.  In “MY FEELINGS” the reader learns more about Oskar, his mother, his father, and his grandfather than in nearly any other section because his grandmother is perhaps the most honest narrator that Foer envisions.  She pours her emotions onto the page without hesitation or regard for the repercussions that her writings may have.  She holds nothing back, and this narrative style reveals much more of the truth underlying the Schell family dynamic.  Foer gives us the tragic story of Oskar’s grandmother to help the reader better understand the many facets of the grieving process, and with her characterization he achieves his goal of exploring the vast complexity of the human response to tragedy in terms of both September 11^th and the bombing of Dresden during World War II.

Oskar’s grandmother hopes to teach him a thing or two with regard to grief and suffering through her writings.  She tells him, “I hope you never think about anything as much as I think about you” (224).  She cares for him in such an intense manner that it is taking a toll on her well-being.  This notion of safeguarding one’s self from pain through “loving small” reminds me of Morrison’s portrayal of Paul D in her novel Beloved.  Oskar’s grandmother is at his beck and call at all hours of the night, and she never wants him to experience loss as she has.  The loss of her son has brought her and Oskar closer together, which is one answer to Doctor Fein’s question of, “Do you think any good can come from your father’s death?” (203).  Although it sounds awful to say, some good has come from his father’s death.  He is not closer with his grandmother (perhaps even his mother) and he is getting out into the world and exploring, meeting new people, and learning the things about life that his father would have wanted.  Thus, tragedy brings Oskar and his grandmother closer together, but it comes at much too high a cost.

Oskar’s grandmother’s relationship with his grandfather is much more tenuous; they choose to marry one another due to their shared experience with the horror of the Dresden bombings and the loss this event incurred.  Hence, from the very beginning their relationship is not cast in a positive light.  She writes, “I told him he wasn’t the only one who needed” (225).  Thomas leaves her because he no longer knows how to live with her in a perpetual state of melancholy and the “nothingness” that pervades their home.  He views her pregnancy as an act of defiance, and he does not want any part of bringing a child into the world which he no longer enjoys.

After his father dies, Oskar’s grandmother takes it upon herself to protect Oskar in any way that she can.  She writes, “I wanted to tell you something, but I didn’t know what.  I just knew there was something I needed to tell you” (228).  Oskar’s grandmother has experience with tragedy in her life, yet she still lacks the words to comfort Oskar in his time of need.  She continues, “Sometimes I felt like the space was collapsing onto us.  Someone was on the bed.  Mary jumping.  Your father sleeping.  Anna kissing me.  I felt buried.  Anna holding the sides of my face.  My father pinching my cheeks.  Everything on top of me” (228).  This sudden and terrific death of her only son brings back the painful memories of the family she lost back in Dresden.  Even after relocating to New York and building a new life with a new family, she cannot escape personal tragedy.  It is only her unwavering love of her grandson which keeps her from being overcome with grief.  Thus, Foer makes an argument for holding on to those that we still have with us, and letting go of those we have lost.  We honor their memory continuing on with our lives, not by stopping them dead in our tracks.  Oskar represents a newfound project for his grandmother to occupy herself with, and although he is not able to admit that he needs her every bit as much as she needs him, he still benefits from her influence nonetheless.